


Far Away: Son Goku's Return

by LadyCressa



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: F/M, Love, Majin Buu - Freeform, Return, Reunion, Romance, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Sweet, chichi - Freeform, goku - Freeform, revival, son family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-12 06:44:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5656459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyCressa/pseuds/LadyCressa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Goku's first night back after seven years of being gone.  The lyrics included are from Nickelback's Far Away.  Some things have changed, others have stayed the same.  He and Chichi talk for the first time in seven years.  Lots of fluff.  One shot, post Kid Buu battle. G/CC</p>
            </blockquote>





	Far Away: Son Goku's Return

**Author's Note:**

> Read and let me know what you think of it! If you guys like this enough, I might write a second part to this as a stand a lone one-shot. This is the second fanfiction I've ever written and the first I've posted.
> 
> *I do not own Dragon Ball Z or any characters or the song lyrics included.*

**Far Away:  Son Goku's Return**

 

I’m back!

 

Those words have been echoing through my head since I defeated Buu once and for all, but I didn’t have much time to truly let those words and their entire meaning settle into me until after the battle.

 

Those words strike me the most powerful blow yet as I enter the bedroom I haven’t seen in seven long years after tucking my youngest son into bed for the first time – what a treat that was. Our room is almost exactly how I remember it. It’s as neat and clean as she’s always kept it. I pause in the doorway, taking it in by the soft light of our bedroom lamp.

 

The bedding is the same simple white bedding I left, neatly, invitingly turned down. On both sides. The same pillow I’ve always used in its place beside hers. I vaguely wonder if she’s ever moved it.

 

The same fresh smell of clean linens reaches my nose, the faint trace of her favorite floral perfume barely detectable and mixing pleasantly with it, as the familiar woodsy smells of the forest waft in through the open window, all combining to be the familiar smell of our room, but something about the smell is… off.

 

I can’t quite put a finger on it, but some aspect of the smell of our room has changed. Nothing new was added, just something… missing? I’m not sure. A slightly uneasy feeling snakes its way into me, but I shake it off and move into the room.

 

I pull my tattered _gi_ off but leave myself in my boxers and step over to our chest, the same sturdy brown one I left. I tug drawers open absently looking for an undershirt, but half the drawers are empty. My half.

 

I walk to the closet and my hand pauses on the sliding door of my half of the closet for just a moment. I push it open, slowly. Nothing. Empty.

 

Seeing my half of our dresser and closet empty, I realize with a start what was missing: Me. A smell I never noticed I had. The scent of our room doesn’t feel complete without it. It must have faded. I guess that would happen after seven years of being gone.

 

I turn my back on the dresser and slip into the soft sheets of our bed, enjoying the familiar feel of the soft fabric against my bare chest and legs.  

 

I hear the water still running in the bathroom. She had quietly stepped into our room while I tucked our boys in and the others went home after Goten, Trunks, and I all bathed in the barrel.

 

Chichi. How I’ve missed my beautiful wife. It killed me all over again to not come back to her, especially knowing I left her one last gift, something to hold onto. That gift is currently drifting off to dreamland after I tucked him into bed – my little boy I never knew I’d get to meet – at least not in this life. I never thought I’d get to see Chichi again in this life, either.

 

A big part of me was very excited to explore and get to know new people up there, and especially to see the Grand Kai’s planet where heroic warriors of the past are invited to train upon their deaths. That was what I told myself to help me cope. It worked, but I still thought about Chichi and Gohan a lot and started missing them the moment I decided to stay, but I was still convinced I made the right decision.   

 

My friends seemed to buy my reason for staying dead and quietly accepted it, even if they did sound sad. Gohan wanted me to come back even though there really wasn’t anything else I could teach him. He said he still needed me, but he didn’t press the issue. He seemed to quietly accept my decision like the others did.

 

What about Chichi?

 

This is a conversation I wasn’t expecting to have for several decades, until she joined me in the afterlife. I knew eventually it would have to happen, but I wasn’t expecting it so soon. I haven’t put any thought into what I would say.

 

What can make it okay? Can anything? Will _we_ be okay?

 

I sure hope so.

 

I lie back with my arms under my head, but wide-awake staring at the ceiling as I try to figure out what I’m going to say to her after seven years of being gone.

 ~~~

_This time, this place, misused, mistakes._

_Too long, too late, who was I to make you wait._

_Just one chance, just one breath._

_Just in case there’s just one left_

_‘Cause you know, you know, you know._

~~~

I told her I missed her when I first saw her at the Tournament. I could barely take my eyes off her. The only thing that pulled my gaze away was that little me hiding shyly behind her skirt.

 

Things got crazy soon after and I ran out of time – out of my allotted energy for my twenty-four hours back on Earth – far faster than I thought I would. Transforming into a Super Saiyan 3 twice burned through it much faster than I thought and I had to go back to Other World without really spending any time with her.

 

She was so sad when Fortuneteller Baba showed up to take me back. She ran into my arms, and I hugged her, but held back. I knew prolonging the hug would only make things harder for both of us. She was on the verge of tears as it was. It took everything in me to turn my back on her and Goten.

 

When Kabito Kai brought the others and me back to the Lookout, she cried and cried in my arms when I told her I’m back for good. She was smiling through her tears so I knew she was happy. I held her a little closer then and told her I love her, but everyone was watching. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and kiss her deeply, but I didn’t. I knew there would be time for that later.

 

I took her home on Nimbus, as our boys followed a distance behind. She kept her arms wrapped firmly around my waist and her body pressed into my back. She was trembling the whole ride, but never said a word.

 

Was there something else in those tears? Something other than joy?

 

I hear the water shut off.

 

My heart immediately speeds up. My palms grow slick. My mouth suddenly feels like I’m chewing on a cotton ball. All very unfamiliar sensations, as I rarely get nervous about anything. What _am_ I going to say? Oh, help me.

 

After a few minutes, the bathroom door opens and out steps the single most beautiful creature I’ve ever laid eyes on. She pauses in the doorway. She’s backlit by the bathroom light, giving her an almost ethereal glow and my breath catches in my throat. My heart skips a beat and my mind freezes up.

 

A towel is wrapped around her body, leaving her toned arms and legs exposed. Her still damp, raven-black hair is down, shimmering in the light and draped about her shoulders. It’s longer now than I remember it being, reaching her hips and I can’t wait to run my fingers through it.

 

She’s staring at me and I try to read her expression. Her eyes are sparkling. Her mouth is pulled up in a small, tender smile. A faint blush touches her cheeks.

 

She turns away from me and walks to our dresser and rummages around in one of the drawers. She pulls out one of her nightgowns and hesitates.

 

She looks at me again briefly, this time while biting her lip. She steps into the bathroom to get dressed and returns quickly.

 

The nightgown she picked is one of my favorites on her. It’s ice blue and made out of satin and hugs her in all the right places. She’s stunning, but I can’t help but feel a little disappointed she opted to dress in the bathroom.

 

She slips into bed beside me, still biting her lip. My mind continues to cast around for an icebreaker as my eyes dart up to the ceiling then back at her. ‘Hi’ is the first word that pops into my head. That’s a start.

 

“Hi.”

 

She giggles. “Hi yourself!”

 

Okay, so that went well enough. Now what?

 

~~~~~~ 

 

I stare into his dark eyes. His eyes are so full of love for me. His lips are turned up faintly, almost dreamily. He seems so happy to be back, and even relieved.

 

There’s something else lurking in his dark eyes. There’s just a little bit of tightness that’s so subtle, I know no one else would notice but me. Even though it has been seven years since I’ve seen him, I haven’t forgotten the skill of reading the subtly in his expressions. He’s unsure and nervous, but so happy to be back.

 

Part of why I decided to take a shower was to give myself time to think of something. We’ve already exchanged ‘I love you’ and ‘I missed you’ and as weighty as those words are, I know there’s something else that needs to be said, but where to start?

 

What do I say to him?

 

My sweet Goku is _back_! That thought sends a burst of euphoric joy through my heart, but doesn’t fix the issue at hand. Goodness knows I have no problem at all with saying what’s on my mind, but for once I’m drawing a blank! I really have no idea what I want to say to him.

 

Gohan told me Goku was coming back for a day a month before the Tournament. That night, I couldn’t sleep at all because I was too excited! I was also too busy thinking to sleep. I had everything I wanted to tell him all planned out and Goku could say anything he needed to say, too. I had even rehearsed it in my head over and over so I would be sure not to forget anything!

 

That was before the whole mess with Buu started. That was when I thought I would only have twenty-four hours with Goku. On that tower, the place they call the Lookout, Goku told me and everyone else he was back for good and Goku told me he loved me in front of everyone! That man was – and still is – so uncomfortable with public displays of affection, but he still told me he loved me in front of his friends! With those three simple words, everything I wanted to say to him went right out of my head.

 

My eyes dart up to the space just above his head, a space that was occupied by a halo just this morning. A halo I fully expected to have to try to ignore so I could enjoy what would have been our only night together for a very long time, standing as a painful reminder of his short visit.

 

Wonderfully, mercifully, only a portion of his pillow is visible above his endearingly wild spikey hair. Yet, almost afraid that would change, that it would reappear, I find my eyes drifting up to that space often, seeking reassurance.

 

Alive. He is very much _alive_.

 

I’m almost afraid to even turn away from him at all in case he disappears or that I would wake up to his cold, empty side of the bed, because I’m only dreaming about having him back. Again.

 

I am so happy to have him back here and home with me for good, but my heart is beating slightly erratically because that shower that was supposed to help clear my head did nothing of the sort.

 

Stepping out of the bathroom to see him lying there, in our bed, with only a sheet draped over his legs and his perfectly chiseled chest exposed didn’t help either. That sight for sore eyes just made me freeze in my tracks. The man has _the_ most perfect body.

 

I can’t wait to feel those strong arms wrapped tightly around me, to breathe in his natural warm, vaguely woodsy and spicy scent…

 

I mentally shake myself. _Not yet, Chichi._

 

Oy. What do I _say_?

 

I sigh. _Come on. Think, Chichi._

I feel the soft touch of a single finger on my cheek.

 

My useless mind freezes at the touch. I didn’t realize my gaze drifted away from his. I hope he doesn’t think I’m avoiding his gaze. I look back into his eyes, this time to see his nervousness no longer subtly displayed on his face. Now, however, in addition to nervousness, his big, innocent eyes are sad and downcast. His lips are pulled down slightly, too.

 

I have an urge to comfort him and I go with it. I reach over and trace the slightly leathery skin of his strong jawline, a jawline riddled with small scars collected over years of fighting. Scars whose irregular and intricate patterns I still have memorized. He brings his worried eyes back to mine and I give him a reassuring, loving smile.

 

His nervousness melts out of his expression. His eyes relax and find mine, full of love. A small smile plays at the corners of his lips.  

 

We find our voices at the same time. “I’m so happy you’re back” – “It feels great to be back.”

 

We both giggle lightly and I stay quiet to let him go first.

 

That wistful smile returns. “It feels so great to be back. Back home, in our bed, here with you. I can’t describe it.”

 

I sigh and feel my eyes well up and, finally, words come to me. “I can’t believe it. You’re really here to stay. I keep feeling like this is a dream, thinking I’m going to just wake up and you wont be here. I’ve missed you… so much, yet I knew you would come back. I didn’t know how, or when, but I did.”

 

I held onto that hope. Hope that I would have him home again in this life and here he is!

 

“It does feel like a dream. I was so excited to see you and Gohan but I also had to prepare to say goodbye. I had no idea I’d get to come back to stay!”

~~~

_That I love you,_

_I’ve loved you all along_

_And I miss you_

_Been far away for far too long_

_I keep dreaming you’ll be with me_

_And you’ll never go_

_Stop breathing if I don’t see you anymore_

~~~ 

I even told the others this. Gohan was the only one who really believed me, and believed Goku would come back eventually. Even when the others thought I was crazy because years passed, Gohan still believed me. I think Gohan knew, too. It was that hope that carried Gohan and I through. Hope that we kept alive in the back of our minds while we went about our lives without _him_ but with a new addition to our small family.

 

A soft chuckle escapes me as I remember Bulma’s concerned words two years after the Cell Games and how angry they made me then: _“You really need to let him go. You’ve grieved enough. It’s time to move on. He decided to stay dead and won’t come back. He can’t now. He would want you to be happy. Going out on a date or two would be good for you.”_

Goku is staring at me with his usual adorably confused expression.

 

~~~~~~

 

What did she laugh at?

 

“What’re you thinking about, Chi?”

 

Her eyes crinkle. “I knew you’d come back to me, even when no one believed me, even when Bulma told me to move on, I knew you would and here you are.”

 

My eyes widen and a quiet gasp escapes my lips. A sick feeling bubbles up in my stomach as my mind snags on two words: _Move on._

 

There it is. The very thing that I was warned might happen by the other warriors on the Grand Kai’s planet. The very thing that would kill me all over again to see, that would shatter my heart. Even if separated by death, at least we’d be together again in the afterlife when it would be her time, but not if I lost her heart.

 

I know I’ve died and been brought back before, but that was when I knew I was coming back. Returning was part of the plan. Gohan had to tell her I wasn’t coming back after I died to save the planet when Cell was about to blow himself up. Returning was plenty possible, but I had to stay dead.

 

King Kai asked if our wedding vows included ‘Til death do us part’. My heart sank when he asked that. Yeah, that was part of our vows, all right. Because of that simple sentence… I could’ve returned to see her in the arms of another man.

 

I decided to stay dead to keep enemies away from Earth. It didn’t occur to me I might lose her when I made that choice. _That_ thought _would_ have shattered my resolve to stay. I suppose it’s a good thing I didn’t think of that.

 

I can’t believe it. I never thought one of my friends would actually suggest Chichi move on. I feel almost betrayed by Bulma, the first friend I ever made, the woman I see as an older sister.

 

Hesitantly, I realize if that’s what it took for Chichi to be happy again, then… I would just have to accept that. Accept that she wouldn’t be mine anymore.

 

A slight, involuntary shudder escapes me. “They… asked you to move on?”

 

She sighs and wrinkles her nose. “Only Bulma and Yamcha brought it up, but Yamcha dropped it pretty quickly. Bulma went so far as to set me up with a few dates.” Her eyes narrow and I know that look well. “I really only agreed to them to get that woman the hell off my case. It took three before she gave up. I knew she would eventually.”

 

“Dates?” The word comes out a little higher pitched than I meant and I cough to clear my throat.

 

She giggles again. _What_ is she laughing at? This is _serious_!

 

“Yes, Goku. Dates. The first one happened a little over two years after… after Cell, then once a month for the next two months after. I talked to Gohan when Bulma first set me up and he hated the idea! Oh, he _hated_ it. He was so angry by the third date that our sweet, mild mannered Gohan actually yelled at Bulma!” Her smile turns sheepish. “I… didn’t stop him.”

 

Gohan… I can’t help but feel a surge of affection toward him as I chuckle at the image.  

 

“Krillen told Bulma to lay off and even Vegeta did, too – “ She cocks an eyebrow at me and smirks – “saying something about Saiyans being rather possessive of their mates. Thankfully she did or I would’ve told her off myself.” Her voice softens but her smile remains. “I did heal – it was hard but I did – and I think that was all Bulma and the others wanted, but even the very thought of moving on… just didn’t feel right. I could never love another like I love you. I never really stopped loving you.”

 

She healed. She healed but didn’t move on. Her name rolls out of my lips in a low sigh as I reach out to touch her cheek. “Chichi.”

 

I bite my lip. “I made some friends with other warriors in Other World and we talked about our families when we took breaks from sparring. I told them about you and Gohan and that I was going to see you again for a day after being gone for seven years. They tried to warn me you might’ve… moved on because some of their families did. I nearly bit their heads off. I was so angry with them for saying that, I even turned Super Saiyan and that was the first time I had been angry enough to do that outside of battle.”

 

I smile a small, guilty sort of smile. “When I thought about what they told me, I was… a little afraid to come back. Afraid I might see another man wrap his arms around you, afraid that you would have moved on. I remembered that ‘Til death do us part’ line in our wedding vows and I know I’ve died and been brought back before, but that was when we knew I was coming back.”

 

She touches my cheek and giggles lightly, her beautiful, dark eyes sparkling. “I suppose if my husband didn’t have superpowers, I would have. I suppose if I lived a normal life in which none of what you do is possible, one where I don’t know about the Dragon Balls, I would have. Normal husbands don’t come back from the dead. Normal people don’t have any clue this kind of stuff is even possible, but nothing in my life is normal and I couldn’t be happier even though it took me a while to truly appreciate that. It means you came back. I’d wait for you no matter how long because, Son Goku, you are worth the wait.”

 

I’m blissfully happy before confusions creeps in, bringing with it a burning question. I think I know what the answer is, but I need to be sure. “We… _can_ still be married… right? _Are_ we still married?”

 

Kami, this is confusing.

 

She giggles. “Well, I did have to file for a death certificate for you so, no. As far as the law says, we aren’t married anymore. This will be a paperwork nightmare but I’m so happy I could _burst_! We’ll need to get married again.” She sighs with a dreamy smile.  “Oh, I am so happy I waited.”

 

My eyes widen and I take a deep breath, amazed by what she just said. “You mean… you waited for me? This whole time?”

 

She strokes my cheek, her eyes shining. “Always, no matter how long. Goku, you’re stuck with me.” ~~~~

Her sweet, shy smile fades, as does the faint pink touching her cheeks. She bites her lip briefly. Her eyes tighten and she pulls her hand and her gaze away from mine. “I spent so many years wishing we could just be a normal family. Wishing _you_ could be normal, and that you didn’t have to run off and battle or train. Oh, Goku, if you were normal, you wouldn’t be _you_.

 

“You wouldn’t be the wild boy I fell in love with, the man I married, and the man I’m still in love with and so proud of. I… didn’t appreciate those times I had with you as much as I should have and looking back…” Her voice becomes strangled and drops so soft, I have to strain my saiyan hearing to catch every word. “I didn’t show you as much love as I should have, as much love as I felt for you. Instead, I was so cold to you and angry all the time when you _were_ home. Looking back on all those times, I wished I could do those moments over again, and prayed that I didn’t push you away. I was… afraid _I_ was part of the reason you didn’t come back.”

 

Tears are pouring down her cheeks now. My heart swells and quickens its pace.

 

“Look at me, Chichi.”

 

She doesn’t. I reach over and take her chin in my fingers and turn her face to me and gaze at her with as much love as my face can possibly show. “I would never think that about you! I know you loved me then and I _never_ questioned that. Not even once.”

 

She blows out a big breath and closes her eyes for a long moment. When she opens them, there’s something in her eyes, softening them while tears continue to flow down her cheeks. Relief? I can’t believe she thought I didn’t want to go back to her! Nothing could be further from the truth.

 

“On King Kai’s planet with Cell in those last few seconds, I closed my eyes and the only faces that drifted into my head were yours and Gohan’s. The seven years I spent in Other World and the conversations I had with the people up there made me see things in new ways. They made me see how truly lucky I am that you put up with me and loved me all these years, even when I wasn’t around.”

 

She opens and closes her mouth a few times, but no words come out. She doesn’t need to say it. I love her more than anything and she knows I do and I know she loves me, too. I reach out and brush my thumb across her wet cheeks, but her tears are falling faster now than I can keep up with.

 

The corners of my lips tug up softly while I continue to stroke her cheek. “You don’t remember this, but the night before the Cell Games after you had fallen asleep, I promised you I would come back. I didn’t know how – or even when – but I knew.”

 

Her next words come out in a whisper choked by her tears. “That whole week, you… knew you were going to... die. Didn’t you?”

 

I nod slowly as the corners of my lips drop and roll to my back, my gaze on the ceiling. “I had this feeling I couldn’t shake. I hoped I wouldn’t. I didn’t want to, but I knew I would… And that when I did, I’d have to stay.”

 

She sighs, her tears slowing. “I knew, too. I could see… something in your eyes sometimes. I couldn’t shake the feeling something was going to happen to you, but I was in denial.”

 

“We both knew. That’s why I wanted that week before the Cell Games to be as special as possible, for all of us. I knew it was my last chance to tell you – to _show_ you _–_ how much I loved you.”

~~~

_On my knees, I’ll ask one last chance for one last dance_

_Cause with you, I’d withstand_

_All of hell to hold your hand_

_I’d give it all, I’d give for us_

_Give anything, but I wont give up_

_‘Cause you know, you know, you know._

~~~

“Oh, Goku, Sweetheart, that week was one of the best I’ve ever had–“ She playfully pokes me in the ribs despite her tears “–even if you did keep breaking our stuff.”

 

I look at her and laugh remembering my struggle to control my own strength while living as a Super Saiyan and rub the back of my head. “Sorry about that.”

 

She merely rolls her eyes and shakes her head, but her eyes crinkle amusedly.

 

Her expression shifts. Her eyes tighten again and her amused smile fades. “Sometimes, I caught hints of… something other than your usual happy-go-lucky self in your expressions when you thought no one was looking. You seemed… sad almost. You didn’t seem as sure of yourself in the days leading up to the Cell Games as you were going into other battles. I knew then something was very, very wrong.”

 

I’m shocked. I’m struck completely speechless. I had no idea she could read me so well. I knew I was saying goodbye to them, but I didn’t mean to have her catch on to that. The whole time, she knew.

 

Yet, she made the most of our time together. I really did marry a strong woman inside and out, the strongest in the world.

 

Now this makes me wonder if Gohan caught on, too. I want to ask, but I’m not sure I want to know what the answer is, or if I should even bring that up. I suppose I need to face the music eventually, so may as well get it over with.

 

Even though it’s been seven years, I have no idea what kinds of emotions she’s kept bottled up after knowing I had Gohan fight. I’m a little scared to find out, if I’m being quite honest with myself.

 

I suck it up, but my nervousness wont leave completely. “Did–“ my voice cracks and I cough to clear my throat “–Gohan catch on, too?”

 

Her eyebrows pull down and her pretty eyes narrow slightly as she turns to face the ceiling.

 

Uh oh. I mentally brace myself. Well, once she says whatever she needs to say, things will be okay. I hope.

 

~~~~~~ 

 

He seemed so nervous to ask that question. Almost as if he was afraid I’d blow up on him about it. I concentrate on memories of that week years ago, trying to bring up any cues in Gohan’s behavior, but I don’t find much.

 

“Sometimes, I noticed him looking at you oddly during meals, but he never said anything to me about whatever it was he was thinking.”

 

The tightness of his eyes fades immediately and he blows out a small breath. “I noticed those looks, too. I tried to just reassure him that everything would be okay.”

 

Come to think of it, I suppose I would have given him a real harsh talking to if he came back a few years ago. Not now. It’s been seven years. I wasn’t happy at all with him taking Gohan to fight and it took me a while to let go of that, but eventually, I decided not to dwell on the past anymore. What’s done is done.

 

I won’t bring it up now. There’s no point in making him feel bad for it.

 

I search for a way to change the subject, if only enough to pull my mind away from Gohan’s fight with Cell. I know from experience that if I dwell on that, then I _will_ get angry. Goku doesn’t need that right now.

 

Once again, my mind draws a blank. At least our silence doesn’t feel awkward this time.

 

Instead, I look at him and tell him something else about Gohan over the past seven years. “He’s really missed you, Goku.”

 

He sighs, sadness and regret plain as day in his eyes. “I missed him, too. So much. I know I missed some big moments in his life. He’s changed so much. He’s nearly grown.”

 

“He has changed. He took it pretty hard for a while. He spent a lot of time alone out in the wilderness with Piccolo or just by himself. It took him a long time to stop blaming himself.”

 

I hear a sharp intake of breath and see pain flash across his face. “He blamed himself? It wasn’t his fault at all, not even a little bit!”

 

“Yes, he did. I tried to tell him that. I tried to tell him that you wouldn’t blame him at all. He wouldn’t accept that right away. It took so long for him to heal. You should talk to him.”

 

Goku nods.

 

I roll to my back and stare up at the ceiling and my voice drops to a whisper so soft I don’t think he’ll hear. “It took a while for me, too. Neither of us really healed until after Goten was born.”

 

Goten. My little boy who looked and acted so much like Goku it was almost hard to look at him sometimes, yet he and his positively infectious smile and laugh were exactly what my aching heart needed.

 

The last two days of our week together – the last two days of Goku’s life – Goku was _so_ affectionate, _so_ cuddly. We’d be kissing and touching all over but one of his large hands would linger on my stomach for just a few seconds longer than anywhere else on my body and in that same instant, I’d catch a subtle flicker of sadness in his eyes.

 

It wasn’t many days after Cell’s defeat that I found out why.

 

He _knew._

I was angry. _So_ angry. He left me with a baby to raise and Gohan a big brother. Gohan somehow helped me raise Goten and balanced his studies. He was so strong through that.

 

I was also heartbroken… Goku knew he wasn’t coming back. This baby would grow up without his father, knowing him only through pictures and bedtime stories.

 

There’s no accusation in my tone. Not after all these years. It’s merely a statement of fact. “You knew.”

 

“Huh? Knew what?”

 

I guess I need to just say it… but for some reason, the words get caught in my throat. Maybe I haven’t dealt with this as completely as I thought I had. “You knew I was pregnant when you left for the Cell Games, didn’t you?”

 

He sighs. “You’re right. I knew.”

 

I feel callused fingers gently brush my cheek closest to him and I turn my head to face him at his touch.

 

He’s biting his lip and a wordless apology is evident in his eyes. ~~~~

There’s no anger in me. Not after all these years. Gratitude replaced that feeling every time I looked into my sweet boy’s innocent eyes. “Thank you… for giving him to us. We wouldn’t have gotten through without him.”

 

I smile sadly, remembering his first years that Goku missed and I say something that I know will shock Goku, a piece of information I’ve been looking forward to telling him just to see the look on his face. “I trained Goten, you know.”

 

I’m not disappointed.

 

He gasps. His eyes grow as round as saucers, and his jaw drops open.

 

“Wha – Wha – _What!?”_

 

He looks like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. I nod with a proud, “Mmm-Hmm.”

 

Slowly, his eyes light up and the corners of his mouth stretch from ear to ear. “ _You_ trained him!? That’s amazing! He did awesome at the Tournament! He didn’t win but it was close! Do you know how he first went Super Saiyan?”

 

I giggle at my husband’s enthusiasm. I knew he’d love this bit of news.

 

I nod again but this time with a slight eye roll. “Oh, yes. I remember how he went Super Saiyan. It was just a couple weeks after his seventh birthday. I was training him, or trying to, but he was just dodging. I kicked him and that was when he transformed and he kicked me back. I flew into a tree and landed on my backside. I was sore for a week!”

 

Goku giggled, his childlike enthusiasm still bubbling out. “He’s gotta be the youngest Super Saiyan ever! I’m so proud of him! Thanks for training him, Chichi!”

 

“I did it for you. I knew you would want that.” I sigh, and pull my gaze away to stare at the ceiling once again. “I trained him in secret while Gohan was studying. I felt so guilty for pushing Gohan in his studies so much. I couldn’t help but wonder if I hadn’t pushed him so hard, maybe he would have defeated Cell faster and you wouldn’t have died. Gohan blamed himself, but I thought it was my fault more than his. Having Goten was my second chance to be a better mom.”

 

I hear another gasp. Strong fingers wrap around my chin and tug with a firmness that’s impossible to fight. He doesn’t use this kind of touch often with me, but when he does, I know he means business.

 

When I finally meet his eyes, they’re burning into me with an intensity he doesn’t show me often. His eyebrows are pulled down, but not in anger. I struggle to read his eyes, but something is burning in them so intensely that I have to stifle the urge to look away. It’s a look so rarely directed at me, I really don’t know what to make of it.

 

His mouth is slightly open. He opens it and closes it several times, as if he’s looking for something to say, but words don’t come right away.

 

He continues to stare at me, and after a tense silence, he finally says, “Chichi! Don’t _ever_ say that about yourself. You’ve been a wonderful mother! _None_ of what happened that day was ever your fault! You only ever wanted the best for Gohan.”

 

I sigh, but still feel ashamed over my past behavior. “Really?”

 

His face relaxes, the burning in his eyes fades away, leaving his eyes achingly, familiarly tender. “Really, really!”

 

His eyes are so sincere. He seems to genuinely believe his words. Genuinely believe that I was a good mom, even to Gohan. He isn’t just saying this. My Goku is a terrible liar. I’d know if he was just saying that. I allow myself to feel just a little bit better.

 

That still doesn’t change the fact that I was too overprotective and overbearing with Gohan. I was too strict. When Goten was born, I swore to myself that I would not make the same mistake again.

 

“Now that you’re back, you can train him. He’s way beyond me now, anyway. There’s no way I’d be able to keep up with him.”

 

With that simple statement, his eyes light up brighter than I’ve almost ever seen them and he smiles that million-watt, ear to ear grin I’ve missed so much over the last seven years.

 

He talked so much about training Gohan and I finally caved but only because the world was in danger. Now, he gets to train Goten and just for the fun of it. His boyish happiness is contagious and before I know it, I’m smiling as brightly as he is. His smiles tend to have that effect on me. How I’ve missed that.

 

Over the last seven years, I came to understand why Goku had to leave all those times. I knew he had to save the world. Only he could. I often wished it didn’t have to be him just so he could stay with me, and with Gohan and Goten, but those are the cards we were dealt. Now, I have a second chance to _truly_ make the most of our time together, however long or short it may be.  

 

Our family’s whole again! Our youngest son will grow up with his daddy. Goten opened up so quickly to him and got attached so quickly, I was afraid of what saying goodbye to Goku would do to our innocent, sweet little Goten. The goodbye was only temporary and I am profoundly relieved.

 

Goku will get to see Gohan get married and start his own family. Goku can get to know him as the man he helped raise.

 

Goku and I will get to be grandparents. Together. We will get to share all of this side-by-side.

 

My husband – our boys’ father – is here to stay.

~~~

_That I love you_

_I’ve loved you all along_

_And I miss you_

_Been far away for far too long_

_I keep dreaming you’ll be with me_

_And you’ll never go_

_Stop breathing if I don’t see you anymore_

~~~

My smile fades as a new question pops into my head, one I’m not sure I want to know what his answer to it will be. “Did you ever… peek at us?”

 

~~~~~~

 

Baba offered me peeks through her crystal ball, but I didn’t take her up on it. I couldn’t, not even when the baby boy I left her pregnant with was born.

 

I sigh as a stab of guilt lances through my heart and withdraw my hand. “No.”

I shift my gaze to the ceiling. I hear a quiet sniffle and feel a subtle tremor in the bed. I can’t face her now.

“Chichi… If I looked at all, I wouldn’t be able to stop looking. I wouldn’t be able to tear myself away.” I take a deep breath and give her the rest of her answer – she deserves that much. “I didn’t look because I couldn’t handle seeing you or Gohan cry so much without being there to comfort you.”

 

The bed is still shaking slightly and I muster up the courage to face her. Looking into my wife’s eyes in this moment is so much harder than facing any opponent.

 

All the pain I caused her over the last seven years has etched unfamiliar lines on her beautiful face. Tears are flooding down her cheeks as she stares back into my eyes. Tears that I caused her.

 

I know there have been many more over the last seven years that I wasn’t there to wipe away, tears that I _couldn’t_ be there to wipe away. Tears that I knew, even then, that she was crying.

 

I didn’t look because I was a coward.

 

To finally face the pain I caused her head on is… almost too much to bear. I can only hope I can help her truly heal the wound I caused her.

 

These tears I _am_ here to wipe away – these tears flooding down her cheeks right now. I reach over and rest my fingertips on her soft, wet cheek and gently guide them towards her eye. I sweep them tenderly from the inside to the outside, taking great care to catch each tear before it falls far.

 

A lump forms in my throat. I swallow hard.

~~~

_So far away_

_So far away_

_Been far away for far too long_

_So far away_

_So far away_

_Been far away for far too long_

_But you know, you know, you know_

_~~~~~~_

 

Goku’s touch is so soft, so tender, it feels like he’s trying to wipe away not just my tears in this moment, but seven years’ worth of tears.

 

It’s working.

 

Goten’s birth healed me, but there were times when I couldn’t stop the tears. I wished Goku could have been there to hold my hand through it, to meet our new son along with me. I never knew it was possible to experience raw pain and raw joy simultaneously, but that’s exactly what I experienced in the delivery room, staring into my littlest boy’s eyes for the first time.

 

Even years later, I cried all night some nights. Sometimes, Gohan would disappear into the wilderness to visit Piccolo for a night to take a break from his studies and Goten would stay over with Trunks. It was then I would let it out. I didn’t want either of them to see me fall to pieces like I did when Gohan first told me Goku wasn’t coming back. I needed to be strong around them both. They needed me to be strong.

 

With each gentle stroke of his callused fingers across my cheek, the scar on my heart that ached like a permanent injury – an ache I hid for years – fades away. I thought I’d have to wait until it was my time to join him in the afterlife for this hole to heal. I thought I’d have to deal with this ache for decades and some how keep it buried, put on a happy face and carry on without him beside me for the rest of my life.

 

He’s really here! My heart is whole once more.

~~~

_I wanted, I wanted you to stay_

_‘Cause I needed, I need to hear you say_

_That I love you (That I love you)_

_I’ve loved you all along_

_And I forgive you (And I forgive you) for being away for far too long_

~~~ 

My tears finally slow and stop as my breathing returns to normal.

I watch as Goku’s eyes grow a little moist. In his eyes is his own pain from having to stay away, sorrow that seams to be growing in intensity. His breathing is growing ragged.

 

He removes his fingers from my cheek and grabs my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, his eyes never leaving mine. “I… am so sorry, Chichi. I’ve been so selfish in our years together. I see that now, but I had to stay dead. I thought you, our family, and the entire planet would be safer and better off without me.”

 

A tear finally breaks free and slides down his cheek. I don’t hesitate to wipe it away. More follow that tear and now it’s my turn to comfort him. It’s my turn to wipe his tears away.

 

I try to tell him I forgive him, that everything is okay, that I understand his reasons for leaving us all those times, and that I love him but my voice won’t work. I know my eyes and my touch say it all.

~~~~~~ 

 

I stare into her eyes, gazing back at me with such tenderness and love that my breath hitches in my throat and my heart skips a beat.

 

I saved the planet but I let down the woman who taught me what it means to love. Over and over again, I hurt her. I’m finally seeing what all that time apart did to her and yet she forgives me! I’m amazed! She’s even comforting _me_ now _._ I really don’t deserve her, yet she stood by me.

 

Some of the conversations I’ve had in Other World were disturbing. Some warriors there had families at one point and fought and died saving their planets but abandoned their families in the process by necessity. Now these people have to exist in eternity without their loved ones. They never had a chance to heal their wounds. Those people warned me my own family might not accept me back, not even in the afterlife.

 

I needed to defeat Buu once and for all and that was the reason I was given my life back, but because of that, now I get to live with my family again. We _can_ heal our wounds now. We won’t end up like the people I met up in Other World whose families won’t talk to them at all.

 

I get to have a second chance to make things up to them – to her. I can get to know my youngest son in this life. I’ll be around to see Gohan get married and start a family of his own. I’ll be with Chichi through all of that.

 

“Chichi, I finally see that I hurt you so badly over the years. I hope I can make things up to you and the boys. I can’t predict the future, but just know that whatever happens to me, I will always find a way back to you. I love you now more than ever.”

 

She strokes my cheek. “Oh, Sweetheart. I love you, too!”

 

I feel my brow furrow. ‘Til death do we part.’ Hmm… I guess there’s only one way to fix this. I stare intently into her eyes. “Chichi? Will you marry me?”

_~~~_

_So keep breathing ‘cause I’m not leaving you anymore_

_Believe it_

_Hold onto me and never let me go_

_Keep breathing ‘cause I’m not leaving you anymore_

_Believe it_

_~~~_

Her only response is to throw herself on top of me and before I can blink, soft, delicate lips are pressed against mine. The second our lips connect, I see an explosion of color behind my eyes and electricity surged through my veins as a small spark danced from my lips to hers, and she shudders slightly.

 

I feel my eyes snap open wide from these overwhelming sensations I haven’t experienced in seven years, and then slowly close. My arms wrap around her small, lithe waist and hold her tightly. I feel her heart pounding in time with mine as a few tears roll down my face and I’m not sure if they’re hers or mine.

 

I can feel her smiling into our kiss, and I am too, but our smiles don’t last long. This is our first kiss since my return earlier today – our first kiss in seven years – and my body is on fire. Goose bumps erupt all over. Our kiss deepens and those sensations intensify ten-fold. Soft moans slip out of both of our lips as a giddy feeling washes through me.

 

One hand finds its way to her long hair and it’s just as silky as I remember it, my hand gliding slowly through her ebony locks to savor the texture I’ve missed for so long. Her hair tickles my face, and the scent of her favorite floral smelling shampoo – the same one she’s used for years – as well as her natural, indefinable sweetness fills my nostrils, overpowering all other scents.  

 

Everything she is devastates my senses and I am aware of nothing but her. Her smells, her voice, the feel of her skin on mine, the sweet taste of her lips – everything she is utterly overwhelms me. I’m putty in her hands. My heart flip-flops.

 

With this close contact, and the limited telepathic abilities saiyans possess, her longing for this moment floods into me. Her longing just to be in my arms again takes my breath away. Her love for me rushes into me and overtakes me, so intense my head spins slightly and my heart beats erratically and it’s the best feeling in the world – far better than any battle high.

 

I send her all the raw love I have for her in this moment and my own longing to be with her again that I kept buried deep inside for seven years – longing that is finally being satisfied.

 

Passion builds and neither of us are willing to stop any time soon. After seven years apart, there’s a lot to catch up on.

~~~

_Hold onto me and never let me go_

_Keep breathing_

_Hold onto me and never let me go_

_Keep breathing_

_Hold onto me and never let me go_

_~~~_

I’m really back!

**End**


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